Addicting

You are like a drug. A substance in my life that I should keep a distance with, yet knowing this fact, I unknowingly urge forward as if controlled through the pulls of magnetism. Like a drug you are illegal and wrong. Completely aware of the lack of legitimacy of the concept I fail to ignore and live through rationally. It's only human to want things and sometimes our desires are all wrong for us. Knowing this fact we reach forward for more. As strong and resistant we may pretend to be on the surface, behind our masks the sad reality is we are human. Humans that cave and eventually give in and accept defeat, pulling up the white flag. Like a drug when you reach me, change within me is inevitable occurring too naturally ignoring all mental blocks and walls I build. I am forced to sink into layers of mental battle and swim into the deep dark threatening ocean of confusion. The illegal substance slows the reaction of the victim and swipes the control. Like a drug you are the one thing that destroys me. Leaving the victim dazed and motionless, drugs take you away. Dazed. The word humours me.
Drugs take their innocent users away. Away from reality. Away from all that they have known. They drive you through waves and tides of intense sensation, provided from no where else. A confined new world the substance constructs within our minds, a perfect world. A world that does not exist. Like a drug you delude me. You're intoxicatingly elusive and unbearably cryptic.
You confuse me entirely, your remarks leads me into a mental room of confusion where I ponder alone upon the reasons and thoughts behind your words. Although you can frustrate me at times particularly at the times when you seem to be intentionally annoying me and yet at the same time completely amused, I can't get away. The intoxicating feeling you trigger in me is something I never want to let go. You are the one that lights that fire. Like drugs you change me temporarily although I am scarred, as your presence physically and mentally diminishes and deteriorates I am able to return to normality. Without you within contact and proximity I am able to escape your intense control over me and I have firm grips over it all. But as my drug comes into action it hits me like a gigantic life changing meteorite crashing into my plain perfectly dimensioned ball of life.
A drug has one most prominent characteristic. Addicting. Clicking on desire and want dragging out the weak in people. Overpowered and mesmerised by the ability of the breathtaking substance I am lost in thought. Why are people addicted to drugs? Knowing that it is evil, wrong and going against all morals people seem to do it anyway. Is it the concept of escape that intrigues us? Drugs seem to provide an escape. Escape from reality. We're all running to stand still. Victims crave the toxic, addicting substance that hides and covers reality, bringing a desired scene into view. Almost like the way I crave your presence.
I am in no state of preparation for your elimination. I simply can't, while you are a drug to me. A drug I am addicted to.