Unidentified

Do you ever get that indescribable dagger-striking feeling? The one that seems to follow you like a plague without a cause? The feeling that sinks you to your deepest? It's the feeling that crushes and ruins you like a massive wreck ball. What it is, is beyond me. I don't have the slightest clue what it is exactly. Nor am I sure that I can describe this feeling that disintegrates me.
Do you ever feel lonely? Scratch that thought, lonely is way too much of broad term. Do you ever feel like you're alone in this world, but at the same time you know you aren't? It's as if you're fighting your own mental battles alone, which is what we're meant to do, I suppose. However it's more complicated than that. It's like those times when everything suddenly falls on top of you and you're more than somewhat flattened by the load that didn't seem to exist before that moment. Perhaps it's more likes a build up, and the more you ponder on the concept it kills you more. Magnifying the undesirable thoughts. It's not loneliness. It's more like loneliness is one of the side effects.
I'm quite incapable of deciphering this mystery. It's like poison. Or well, it poisons your world. Or should I say your perspective. It seems to drag out the worst in things. It's as if everything becomes tinted with darkness and murkiness. Confusing.
Like you feel like it's only you in this world, and by that, I don't mean that it's an egocentric feeling. It's more so like you're facing the whole world alone. As in there's no one to break your fall or someone to grab and hold on to with your tightest grips. As in the feeling causes you to question where you are. Who you are. You know, how sometimes you just don't feel like yourself? It's like that. It in a way makes you question what matters. It has the power to intensify the negativity in things making issues seem larger than they actually are. It creates a puzzle and you simply don't have the pieces to it. And you are forced to stare at the incompleteness. It's a scattered feeling, completely elusive. It blurs all meaning in the world, making you squint and once again try to decode all the points in life. But then again, is there a point to life? The feeling makes you unwillingly rewind all the depressing moments of your day or week, whichever. Instead of focusing on the good points it reminds of your darkest moments. Your fears. It makes you want to hide in your own nutshell. Closing the door, locking out the outside world. Yet instead of feeling safe and comforted in your own walls, you feel more, vulnerable. Yes that's the word. Vulnerable. The feelings make you feel all the insecurities. Building them all up and then at these times the explosion occurs. No. The implosion occurs. And it's nothing that is loud or conspicuous, really. Yet it's real noticeable and obvious to you, perhaps it's even immediate.
Can't shake this feeling off.