I need it.

When things get rough, you just have to get by. When things don't make sense, you've just got to push forward. There's no point in asking questions. Lately, I ponder in my mental world on a daily basis behind the smokescreens of conversations. But I'm not going to pause anymore. I'm going to move forward, be who I am. I can't restrain it anymore. I'm going to do what I do. I'm not the type of person to stay put. I'm not the type of person to be nailed down by people or circumstances. I've been trying.
But now I'm going to do what I do, going with the flow and moving forward. I won't stop for anyone or anything. Because that's the only way I know. It's the only way I can live. There's no backing down now.
I can't live life on pause. I just can't do it, it's not me. It's not who I am. What's living without mistakes? What's living without bruises and stupidity?
I've been trying so hard to keep everything on hold lately. Dragged myself down to reality and pinned my feet down to the solid ground, thinking it was for the best. But it's not me. I need the fast pace. I need the craziness. I need it all. It's like the substance that keeps me alive. The drug that makes me, me.